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L. Soviero

Solved Mystery

I'm in the hallway of my apartment building, something is jammed behind the door, I shove the door with my ass, books smack the floor, a faint crackling sound of a record at its end comes from the...

2 min read · Rating: PG-13 · Read story

Sermon from the Church of Slashed Prices

The great doors open with some other mothers in their Sunday best filing in dragging their children behind them. My little one skips ahead as I squeeze past a woman wearing a day at the race...

3 min read · Rating: PG · Read story

The Headline Will Read...

When childhood friends find my name in the first sentence, they will remember the time I fell down a flight of stairs in the second grade, the punch I took in third grade, and the Pound Puppy I got...

2 min read · Rating: G · Read story

The History of Hair Mausoleum

The Hair Mausoleum is in honor of the gweatest president of the 21st century. In the early part of the century, during a Republican debate, a candidate's hair ripped itself free from his head,...

2 min read · Rating: PG · Read story

Pause. Back. Play.

At that weekend you wore the white skirt and we got takeaway key lime pie. We almost got into an accident in the taxi home and woke up in the middle of the night with raccoon eyes. The following...

1 min read · Rating: R · Read story

Abe Conseulos’ False Teeth

Abe Consuelos places his false teeth in a glass on the sink and soaks them with baking soda and water. He doesn't fall for any of that nonsense. After his morning stretches, Abe goes to the...

4 min read · Rating: G · Read story

We're Both on Roller Scates

We're both on roller skates and I don't remember where we got them from, but we're good despite not having done this since '92. I crouch onto the curb to watch you skate and shout about how surreal...

2 min read · Rating: PG · Read story

Second Swing From The Left

Sylvia heard that swings in other places were affixed with rope, but she was from the Bronx and nothing but metal made any sense as a material. Rope would never last. Sylvia waved goodbye to Lauren...

6 min read · Rating: PG-13 · Read story

Side Effects

Archie's come home smelling like tequila and cigarettes, and his dick fingers make it hard for him to carry the plate and punch in the numbers on the microwave. I tell him that reheating chicken...

1 min read · Rating: R · Read story

No Bobs

A notice was pinned to the cafeteria bulletin board saying NO MORE BOBS, and Bob stared at it while eating his croissant. He noticed stares from his colleagues as he walked back to his cubicle. Bob...

2 min read · Rating: PG · Read story

Delores

Danny wanted to see boobs on his 17th birthday and piled into Brett's parents' 1997 Lincoln Towncar. Peanut went blank until Pete Townsend let her in. Danny's first lap dance was with Lara, and the...

14 min read · Rating: R · Read story

A Lesson in Meteorology

The Santiago kid committed suicide that morning. Two men had to carry Santiago’s mother out to a car. Maria said when people got that sad their legs stopped working. But their eyes, they could...

1 min read · Rating: G · Read story