Life and Choices

My name is Stella Benson, while growing up as a child, I always hated the idea of education, of reading, I didn't quite see the need for it. Always wondered why people choose to go through that much stress of racking ones brain only for you to be graded on paper, it was a total waste of time and energy.
My parents on the other hand always told me that education was the key to success.

But then again I found myself wondering what actual use it was, for my father, Mr Benson, was a handsome, brilliant boy while he was in high school, never forgot to tell his parents about his never ending dream of working on a construction site, as an engineer. And believe me, he worked towards that dream.

He got good grades, went to the University and came out with a first class degree in Civil engineering. And today well... he works at sites... as a bricklayer. I guess one could say that...his dreams came through.

Not that he didn't try to get his dream job, hell no!. life simply... happened. He went to numerous companies and industries, of course not minding if the job he would be offered would be aligned with his course of study.

All he simply asked for was a job, anyhow... anywhere, he would do it. But it was one failed attempt after another, excuses upon excuses. It was either there was no vacancy or that he was far too qualified for the position, and that they wouldn't be able to pay him, he was all on his own when life came pinching him, harshly. He so badly wanted to punch it back, but nothing seems to be working.

The worst was when he got a call from one of the many companies he had dropped his resume at, to come for an interview, which he attended. The next day he got an email congratulating him for securing the job.

Oh what joy it was, to be able to work in the, VINTAS company, a very popular company. It was a huge company, that came with a huge salary and other benefits. It was for sure going to be the big break he so much craved for... he was on cloud nine.

But he should have known better, for the minute he arrived at the place that faithful morning, dressed in his borrowed, well ironed suit, he was graciously welcomed only but with an apology letter, stating of course how they have mistakenly mistook him for someone else.
But a mistake it was not!. They simply gave the position to someone with connections to the place, someone... high up like it was heard.

Oh the despair, the anger, the pain... the hurt. It was all too much for  a twenty six years old man. Life was seriously pinching him, he was tired, fed up, exhausted... he so much craved for warmth, even for once in his life time, he would grab it and cover himself up, like a duvet, sniffing the warm scents of it, ohh how he sure would.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, which in turn turned into years, and he finally gave up. Stopped pursuing shadows like he called it. And decided to start a little business and hopefully a family.

He got a small plot of land, and started peasant farming on it, but it wasn't yielding much so he would from time to time work as a bricklayer.He met my mom, Mrs Lawretta Benson, they fell in love, and started a family together, that was how I and my four siblings came into existence.

Years on, he lost it... all of it. He became aggressive, stopped paying the light bills, water bills, all bills, down to our feeding, not that he couldn't assist, he just... didn't care anymore. I guess the failures and disappointment finally got to him and he snapped.

Thank god for the kind of mother we had, how ever are we to survive. She was a strong woman, did everything by her self, took care of all five of us and him, for years.

For years my father didn't think to bother himself about us, he had even rented an apartment somewhere else around his farm area for himself alone. He was more like...a ghost, came and went as he pleased.

We the children, loved him non the less, I think for a time, we even loved him more than we did our mom. Maybe because it was due to the fact that while we were still little, anytime he came back from his travels he would buy us lots of stuff, like sweats, cookies, chocolate and chips, down to clothes, how we so much welcomed his presence.

Or maybe it was due to the fact that he would read us bed time stories when ever he was around, or maybe just maybe it was because he wasn't around most of the time, or most  probably it was... all of it.

One day he came and started yelling, cursing and shouting, accusing my mom of betrayal. And at last he drew the final straw, and he hit her, that was the first and last time he ever laid hands on my mother, and also the last we ever set our eyes on him, for he walked out and never returned.

I had just gotten into highschool then. After that day, witnessing that ugly... terrible scene with my two eyes, I made a vow. I vowed that I was going to make him regret his actions of deciding to leave us all by ourselves.

I was going to stand tall and lay claim that truly education is the key to success, no matter the cost and this time I won't end up like my father. If truly education is the key to success, then I will gladly do it, I would welcome it, hell I would embrace it all.

From that day I read every single day, excelling in all subjects, even got two scholarships award to the university. I felt like I was slowly getting closer to my dreams. But then life struck once again.

I sat down for my secondary school leaving exam(Waec) and surprisingly, I failed in virtually every subject, something that has never happened since the day I made the vow. There by costing me my scholarships, it was a one time offer, pass or it's all over. I cried for weeks, my mom and siblings included.They gave me comfort and told me that life doesn't end there unless I want it to, but then I decided to try again that I wasn't going to give up that easily... never!.

I wrote it again and I passed, thankfully, proceeded to writing my jamb, wrote it and it didn't work out.I wanted to be an engineer so badly, a civil engineer like my father was.

I tried again for the second time, sadly it was another failed attempt, poverty was pinching me real hard.I didn't give up there, nor did I let it weigh on me.Did it again and I got in, I was happy, so happy.

But of course who was I kidding, thinking that life was going to leave me alone, that it was going to let me be happy even for a single... single moment.Three weeks to my exams, it came knocking once again, and this time it took something dare to me, something... priceless, my beloved mother. I wiped for days, cried myself to sleep for countless nights.

My mother...my backbone, my support system, my mother... the love of my life, my mother... my best friend. You know there is this saying that life isn't cruel but the people in it, but right now, it was life that was happening to me, it was life that was tormenting me, it was life that took my mother, not the people in it.

Indeed, life was definitely the one that was cruel. How was I to face life without her, I asked, questioned God, questioned life, why me, why my family, why... us. I never got a response... nothing.

It was as though life had drenched us... me, with curses and misfortune. I dropped out of the university after the death of my mom, it was all too much, didn't cry this time around, still don't know why till today.

All the while people had started talking, more like gossiping about us, if we were cursed or something, for a moment I began to believe the gossips, then it hit me that I was slowly going down the road my father went and I didn't want that, hell I will be damned if I allow that. And then I remembered the words my mom always used to say...when life hand's you lemon, you make lemon juice.I smiled, thanks... mom, I let out.

Signed up and got into the university again, doing manual jobs here and there to support my studies, years on, finally made it out with a first class degree same as my father, I was thirty one years old at the time, sighed and looked up at the sky, thinking of the struggle, the hardship, the torment. It has finally ended, I...I made it out. I was brought to tears, cried for myself, for the years lost, for the things lost.

I went on interviews, somehow and thankfully life smiled at me and I got a job, now the shocking part of it all was... I was employed at the same company my dad was meant to work in, the VINTAS company, somehow it felt weird but I brushed it off my mind and decided to look up to the future, my future.

I don't know what exactly happened, if life finally got tired of me, or if it took pity on me, and moved on to someone else, but from there things just started working out for me, for all of us, I and my family. I saved up enough money and started my own company.Me and my siblings were now doing great in life, we were happy once again.

My dad came back, begging for forgiveness, a second chance. I looked at him from head to toe, he was no longer the handsome, vibrant man that he once were. The clothes on him were old, worn out, down to his shoes. He had grey hairs on his head, with wrinkles stretched at the both sides of his face, it was as if I was starring at a total... stranger.

I let out a chuckle, and smiled for a moment or so, for it dawned on me that, life dealt with my father, and also with me, now the only difference was... I didn't allow it to determine the end, my end, it was all... me.