The Letter

Hey, I was just writing to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about you. I think about you all the time. I guess I just thought that pulling away would make things easier. Ea.sier to let go, maybe. I don’t know.

I’ve been busy recently. Someone convinced me to join the basketball team. I was never very good at it, remember? I couldn’t make a basket if my life depended on it. That’s probably why I’ve been benched all season. And I took your advice. I started a band. We’re not too good, though. You’ll be happy to know we don’t have a cringy name… but it’s not what you would’ve wanted.

I try to keep myself busy, trying not to think about…

But some nights, it’s hard to sleep, and I feel myself slip back to you.

Remember in 1st grade, when I shoved you off the playground, and you started crying? God, we were just little kids then. The world seemed so big, and we couldn’t wait to grow up. I remember you in your glasses that were way too big for you. And your brother’s hoodie that practically swallowed you whole.

Remember the 8th-grade graduation, when John Anderson fell down on stage, and you were the first one to help him back up? I always wished I were more like you. Kinder, funnier, someone everyone liked. But, I guess it’s always cool to be the sidekick.

Oh, and remember  Abbey Smith? That one girl you had a friend crush on all of freshman year. Well, I went out with her a few weeks ago. I wouldn’t really call it a date, given the circumstances, but we went out for coffee and talked. She said she wished she’d gotten to know you better. I wish everyone had gotten to see you finally spread your wings. But, I guess life isn’t fair that way. 

Graduation is next week. I still can’t believe how fast high school has gone by. But I guess time kinda stopped for me when…

Well, your mom’s doing better. She cleaned out your stuff. She said I could keep some of it. I hope that’s okay. It’s just a few CD’s you burned and that Nirvana T-shirt you always wore. It still smells like you.

I guess I never said sorry for that night… I blame myself for what happened. I know if you were here, you’d tell me it’s not my fault. It’s the twist of fate, right? You were always better than me that way. You never held grudges or made promises you couldn’t keep. Well, I hope wherever you are, you finally spread your wings. I guess that’s the one thing you couldn’t do on earth.

Love, Your Friend