Hands off!

Dazai’d been organizing his desk thoroughly for a while now, piling up sheets of papers with reports he’d submit later and picking up some books to put them back in their places on the shelf. Aside from the fact that his office had been invaded earlier that day and all his work had been thrown all over the place, he was surprisingly calm.

Because he knew who had done it.

As he cleaned up the mess, he was mumbling one of those suicide songs only he could like and thought about what kind of revenge he’d use to make that bastard pay him back. Maybe tying him up from his feet until all his blood leaves his body through his nostrils would be nice. He’d definitely enjoy watching that. But he knew someone would rescue that sad excuse of a human sooner or later. A fast death wouldn’t be nice either. He’d love to see him suffer for a bit.

“And I thought he’d be smarter...” he sighed to himself as his eyes roamed around the office to check if something was missing, his eyes went wide when he noticed his favorite book wasn’t where he had left it.

Before the curse he was thinking about could actually leave his lips he heard the office door creaking open.

“What do you want from me, shitty Dazai? I have better things to do you know?” The small ginger man said sharply as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Oh Chuya you actually came!” Dazai replied, faking surprise, analyzing the smaller man and noticing how that little bitch didn’t show any sign of regret.

“Of course you sent that stupid kouhai of yours after me to deliver me your message. Now spit it up or im leaving.” Chuya said, raising one of his eyebrows and crossing his arms. His right foot tapping on the floor which was a clear sign he was annoyed.

“Always so impatient Chuyaa~” Dazai called “why don’t you take a seat first? Want a cup of tea?”

“Fuck you and your tea Dazai. I’m heading out.” Chuya said angrily and turned around, ready to leave, when Dazai changed his tone and spoke again.

“Then I’ll be clear. What did you want in my office?” That had made Chuya hesitate for a few seconds before he regained his composure and kept on walking towards the door as if nothing had happened.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, suicide freak.”

But before he could place his hand on the door knob, Dazai was in front of him. When the hell did he become so fast? Chuya couldn’t help but think and then suddenly his feet left the floor as Dazai tossed him over his shoulders and carried him to the other side of the room.

“Put me down, you shit-head!” Chuya yelled, trying to hit Dazai’s head with his elbow, but to no avail. Dazai almost threw him on the floor once he stopped in front of his desk and pointed at the pile of papers, making Chuya’s gaze land on the papers.

Chuya couldn’t believe he had been so careless when he stormed into Dazai’s office that morning just to mess his things up but there it was, a string of his ginger hair shining visibly against the white papers.

“As a mafia member you should be better than this” Dazai said coldly, grabbing Chuya’s left arm and looking deep into his eyes. “I wouldn’t mind your little visit since it’s not the first time you do it, right? But this time you took something from my office and I want it back.”

As much as that look actually sent a shiver down Chuya’s spine, he was just too damn stubborn to make things easy for Dazai.

“I haven’t taken anything, you bastard. Where’s your proof?” he challenged, returning Dazai’s stare just as intently.

“Ah, I see…” Dazai murmured, then his expression softened, his usual smirk back on his lips. That smirk that made the small ginger man want to kick his face every time he saw it. “You’re just begging for my attention, right Chuya? And I thought that Akutagawa was already too much”

“Like hell I would want your attention, you jerk!” he spit those words out and it only made Dazai’s grin grow bigger.

“You storm into my office every other day and mess up my things, throw my paper work everywhere because you know how much I hate doing it, so that I’ll have to waste even more time to put them back in order, and now, now you stole my book. Of all books, you stole my favorite book.”

“That Guide of a Clean Suicide is gross anyway.” Chuya said too fast, before even thinking about what he was saying, and regretting it immediately. Stupid, stupid, how can you be so stupid, Chuya??? You just gave yourself away.

“Ooh! Looks like we have a confession here!” if that smirk grew any bigger, Chuya would shove his foot down his throat. “Tsk” was all he could say.

“Give it back, you attention whore!” Dazai said again, moving both his hands to cling on Chuya’s collar. “That book was the last one. Chuya. I’m not kidding”

“I burnt it” Chuya replied with one of his psycho smiles. Dazai’s knuckles were turning white with force. That little bastard couldn’t have done it, no, he wouldn’t go that far. He couldn’t have.

“You wouldn’t dare”

“I’ll mix its ashes in your coffee tomorrow, asshole”

At this point Dazai’s face was dangerously close to Chuya’s. His hot breath ghosted over the smaller man’s face as he spoke again. “You might be crazy, but not to this extent.”

“Say that tomorrow when your food tastes weird. Maybe that’s it, suicide maniac, maybe you might actually die if you ingest what’s left of that book.” His smile couldn’t be bigger. Chuya was proud of himself at this point, proud because he could see Dazai losing it for the first time. He almost felt rewarded for all those years of putting up with Dazai’s shit.

“I fucking hate you.” Dazai’s face got even closer to Chuya’s as he spoke “I hate you so much I’m willing to do what I’m about to do because I know you’ll hate it even more”

Chuya didn’t have much time to get confused over Dazai’s words as the taller man yanked his shirt towards him and crashed his lips against his. His eyes grew big in surprise and he didn’t react at first. He couldn’t try to push him away, kick him or anything. He was just frozen on his feet as Dazai moved one of his hands to his head and pressed his face even harder against him.

Of all the reactions he could have had, he didn’t understand why the only one his body managed to complete was parting his lips for Dazai. What the hell! He couldn’t understand anything, but his lips moved as though they had their own mind and the next thing he felt was Dazai’s tongue sliding against his own, but it wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t slow. Dazai moved as though he wanted to devour the small man in his arms and Dazai himself couldn’t understand what was going on with his revenge. He was meant to hate it, but why wasn’t he…?

Dazai pulled back, breathless, surprised, and for the first time in a long time, scared. What did he feel when he kissed Chuya? He thought he’d throw up on his face after that kiss, but it didn’t happen at all. In fact he felt an electric wave run through his body instead and damn, how infuriating it was! For the first time ever something he planned had gone wrong, but like hell he’d say that to Chuya!

“You're so gross. I might throw up!” he said to Chuya, but it lacked conviction and it didn’t go unnoticed by Chuya.

“You're even more disgusting, shitty Dazai! I might wash my mouth with bleach!” Chuya retorted, but his words lacked conviction just like Dazai’s.

“Disgusting.” Dazai murmured, leaning against Chuya again. “So damn disgusting”

“Your saliva makes me wanna puke, you freak” Chuya murmured in return, his own hands finding their way to Dazai’s collar as they kissed again.

Dazai moved both hands to Chuya’s head this time, getting rid of that damn hat in the process, but the red haired man didn’t even notice. The slide of their tongues against each other felt electric and Dazai felt a certain pleasure when he buried his fingers into Chuya’s wavy ginger hair.

“So damn- damn gross” Chuya breathed out when he parted their kiss for a second before leaning in again for another one, feeling Dazai’s hands tightening against his waist and he suddenly felt his feet leaving the floor again to find himself pressing against Dazai’s desk.

As in an agreement made mentally, both started undoing each other’s buttons, Dazai being the faster one, throwing Chuya’s shirt somewhere in the office and then he left Chuya’s mouth and moved to his neck. “I hate you, you hat rack” he murmured before biting the base of his neck with considerable force.

Chuya growled as he felt Dazai’s teeth sinking into his skin. His crotch twitched and he gave up the task of taking Dazai’s shirt off. Fuck that! He thought and decided to work on Dazai’s pants instead. The taller man kept abusing  the surprisingly smooth skin of his neck as the smaller one yanked the zipper of his pants off, breaking it in the process.

“Eager disgusting rat…!” Dazai murmured in his ear before biting his earlobe.

“Perverted freak!” Chuya's hand roamed over the bulge in Dazai’s pants “Already hard.” 

I'm afraid I’m not the only one” he replied, moving his right hand to Chuya’s also preeminent bulge. “You’re surprisingly big for someone so small” Oh, of course he couldn't miss a chance to annoy Chuya. The reason they were both so committed to do what they were doing was unknown, they did hate each other but stopping now was out of the question

“Fuck you, Dazai..”

“It’s gonna be the opposite, Chu~ya” he said as he pulled back and turned Chuya around abruptly, bending him over his desk. When did he manage to open Chuya’s pants he didn’t know, but there they were, being yanked from the smaller man’s waist as he pressed his chest against Dazai’s desk and held onto its edges as if his life depended on it.

Dazai freed his member from his pants and roamed his eyes over Chuya’s body. He couldn’t believe that damn bastard could be the least bit attractive. He couldn’t believe he had gotten that hard because of his nightmares in the form of a human.

The thought Chuya could actually make him weak and that he was actually enjoying it was driving him crazy. He had teased him for being eager, but in reality he wasn’t any better.

Chuya cried out when he felt two slick fingers pressing against him and forcing their way into him. “Shitty Dazai, I hate you!” he yelped in surprise, his eyes suddenly teary. He squirmed over the desk, but Dazai pinned him down firmly with his free hand.

“You’ve gotten beaten up by enemies, they hurt you more than this and you didn’t even groan, Chuya~” Dazai teased. “Could it be that you're just enjoying it so much already? You fuck me over more often than not and you can’t even take it?”

Chuya would retort, he could swear he would, but Dazai had chosen that very moment to start moving his hand. His fingers pulled against his rim from inside and started feeling him up, prodding his inner walls and suddenly he jolted. His arms moved in reflex and knocked over all those papers Dazai had so carefully organized earlier.

“Oooh~ looks like I found something” Dazai had that grin of his on his face again as he pressed against that same spot, appreciating how Chuya trashed over the desk once more. 

“You u-useless pile of bandages…!” Chuya breathed out. His tears rolling down his cheeks already, his body trembling at Dazai’s mercy.

“If you come now it won’t be fun, Chuya. I guess you won’t be getting any more preparation, you know” and then he moved his fingers out of Chuya’s body, appreciating for a brief moment how his entrance clenched at the loss. Just to think he’d be like that with this little bastard… But before he could regret or come back to his consciousness he pushed in, slowly, almost painfully, but he pushed every inch of his member inside that petit ginger’s body.

Shit. He feels good. He feels so damn good I want to make him pay for it.

Chuya arched under him, cursed Dazai and his ancestors several times, and he clenched, clenched like crazy trying to calm down the spasms of his body, trying to get used to that damn bastard, that damn thick bastard inside of him. But when Dazai moved, both of them forgot how much they hated each other, when Chuya clenched against him so deliciously tight, Dazai couldn’t even remember how he wanted to hang him down from his feet before. Chuya’s tears had never been from pain and soon he found it out, he realized he was just feeling so good that he couldn’t keep his composure. He started moving as best as he could, trying to meet Dazai’s movements that were sharply pounding into him from behind. He couldn’t believe he was that damn good at it, couldn’t believe he was hitting his sweet spot so frequently, but he did.

They forgot all those curses they reserved for each other and concentrated only on keeping that going as long as they could. Chuya kept trying to grab onto something, anything, to keep him still and Dazai kept hissing, his eyes closed as he pulled almost completely from Chuya’s body just to ram back in with such force, his desk inching a few centimeters forwards every time.

“Oh shit, Dazai, if you- if you keep~ahh” Chuya was a moaning pile under him “gonna cu-cum!” His body had spasms, his back was so sweaty Dazai’s hands were wet from massaging it as he pounded into him, and he felt all his muscles tensing up as he felt a shot of fire running up from his toes and straight to his crotch. 

Chuya came cursing, but none of those words were directed for Dazai, not this time. Dazai could only grab his hips one last time and thrust forward until he followed suit, coming undone inside the smaller man to the point he felt dizzy. Dazai felt boneless and his body fell limp against Chuya’s on his desk, still inside him. On the other hand, Chuya kept clenching, ridding out of his orgasm, his mind reeling.

It took them a few minutes before they could get their breaths steady and then reality hit them like a truck. Chuya’s eyes widened as he came back to his senses and felt Dazai on top of him. He was freaking out.

“Oh shit! Shit! Shitty Dazai, get off! Get off of me!’ Chuya shouted, trying his best to get up and push Dazai away.

Dazai found himself surprised as well. As he pulled out of Chuya, his only thought was hanging himself with a rope around his neck, but he tried to keep calm or else he’d strangle that hat rack as well. How come it had happened? How? What had the damn midget of a human with such horrible fashion sense done to him? He wanted to kill him because of his book, and now… now?

“You tacky bastard! What have you done to me?” Chuya yelled as he picked up his clothes from the floor and tried his best to put them on with his hands trembling with anger. “It was something you sprayed in the air because you knew I’d come, right? You had everything planned, you low bastard”

“It might be your fault, Chuya! I bet you came here earlier and did something to seduce me, didn’t you? You attention whore. You wanted me to pay attention to you since the beginning, this is why you stole my book, you jackass! You should at least say you like me if you’d go this far!” Dazai replied, trying his best not to yell back, as he tucked his member back into his pants. Good thing he hadn’t taken anything off, but his shirt was pretty much opened and damp from sweat.

“Like hell I like you, bastard!” Chuya walked towards him, setting his hat back on his messy hair and pointing at him. “I’d rather die than like a moron asshole like you. You totally forced me into this! I should finish you right now!”

“But there’s something curious about it, Chuya” Dazai said, placing a finger over his lower lip. Chuya shivered at the sight. “You could have used your ability to throw me somewhere else so that I couldn’t lay a finger on you from the start.”

“I need contact for that asshole, and you neutralized my ability, didn’t you!?”

“None of the sort” Dazai had that annoying smile on his face again. Chuya felt the urge to kick his face coming back. “Even though my hands were on you, I didn’t even think about neutralizing your power. You could have used it anytime, and yet you didn’t. Could it mean you didn’t really want me to stop, Chuyaa?~”

The wink Dazai gave at the end of his sentence was the last straw for Chuya. He closed the distance he had with Dazai in a second and pushed him against the book shelf in the far end of the room by using his ability with all the force he had left. “Die, Shitty Dazai “

Dazai went flying against the bookshelf, books crashing over his head as he hit the shelf with impressive force, and that tacky bastard was already spent! But the grin didn’t leave his lips. “Chuya, I want to wake up and find my book in front of my door tomorrow morning.” He said to Chuya as the small man left the room before he could do something he’d regret. Killing Dazai would make him happy, but Mori would make him pay for it and death would make Dazai happy, so he couldn’t let the temptation take over him. 

“Touch me again and I’ll slit your neck and leave you bleeding” he said in a harsh tone as he left the room and slammed the door shut. He’d take a bath in pure bleach if needed, only to take that disgusting essence of Dazai he could feel dripping out of his body. 

“Only if you give my book back!” Dazai yelled so that the petit mafia could hear from the hallway.

Dazai was still worn out to move, and he had to admit his back hurt from the impact just now. He decided to stay there, on the floor, just for a little while so that his strength could return. As he stayed there and looked at all those paper sheets scattered all over the floor, he thought back about those moments with Chuya against his desk and concluded that that tiny man might not be that disgusting anymore.